What should I do now? =(

I'm thinking.. Crying.. refresh back everything.. What should I do? All I can ask only WHAT CAN I DO?? WHAT SHOULD I DO?? I love you.. I accepted the way you are.. BUT.. All i need is at least let me know that u r safe at home.. Now I duno what rumours my friend heard.. But I scare.. Scare to know that you betray me again.. I scare to know that u have another girl again.. The fear never go away.. It keep in my soul for so long time.. Nothing can make it away from my soul cause it's really hurt.. I really duno what to talk to who or tell who.. Nobody would understand..=(